Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
