Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
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I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
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sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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