Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
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