Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Randomize
