I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
