This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
