i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
