This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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