WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
