He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
