he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
