i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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