If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
