Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
