She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
