I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
