i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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