I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
