OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
