Is it normal to miss your booty call?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
