people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
She told me I should be a condom model.
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By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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