All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize