Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
