How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
NoShamevember. You game?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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