If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
