I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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