I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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