i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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