Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Found your dick twin last night
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
