ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
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