if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize