i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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