I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
