Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
