I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
