There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
you had me at cake vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize