i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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