i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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