so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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