Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
