thus making me awesome and them whores
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
