I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
