awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
