his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize