I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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