I can text with my tongue
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
THAT is your concern right now?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.