Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart