I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
