have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's