my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
