New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
