Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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