please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
