I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
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Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
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Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
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