It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
