; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
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i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
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My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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