i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
everyone is single if you try hard enough
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
