I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
