So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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