if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We have so much sex to catch up on
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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