so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
