Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
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I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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