not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed