I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.