College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"