So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
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Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
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your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.