That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
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That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.