I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
