half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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